Assignment 3-5

The peer review I had was fair and getting a different perspective was refreshing. I also believed that I would have to edit and rewrite some of the essay.

"September 1^st of 2005 was a horrible day for most people in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. So much so, a writer by the name Josh Neufeld decided to write a comic about it called: ”A.D. – New Orleans: After the Deluge.” 


It was suggested this is not a very strong introduction. I will make the necessary changes to make this stronger by changing the wording to be more direct and clear and maybe adding a short phrase that signifies what Neufeld captured in his comic. An opening teaser to the rest of the essay.


It is also true that I need to work on my past and present tense. It is a little difficult to know what tense I should be writing in when I  recently read  the comic (2011) but the author wrote the comic in the past (2009) and the comic itself takes place further in the past (2005). I will work on this and try to remember that keeping the writing in an active form will allow me to have a grasp on which tense I should use.


I am sure with these things in mind that my writing style will flourish.
 

Feedback Focus Areas On My Own Interpretive Essay On Neufeld's Comic

After the last post it was suggested that my thesis was more like a reaction to Neufeld's comic more than it was a thesis and even though that is true, I think I still did pretty good at writing an interpretive essay. There are, however, a few adjustments I need to make to the essay. To start with, I thought that about the 3rd paragraph in my essay, I talk about the colours that were used in Neufeld's comic. I think I can take those examples and tie them more with situation they were used. For example, when I talk about the colours being used to show the disgust of the convention centre, I should tie it in with the paragraph where I describe the convention centre. I believe this will help the flow of the essay to be smoother. I just hope I got the feel of the colours right.


I also need to do something about the citing that I have not put into the essay yet. I will be citing, not from Wikipedia but from the sources you can find there. I will try to take as many paraphrases as I can to coincide with with my interpretation of Neufeld's comic. I hope to do this by showing the inside perspective and his use of stereotypes and reversal, and the concepts that have come from the mass media.This is also why I have not created a works cited page yet. I am still indecisive of which ones I will use.


I am also eager to hear from my peer to review my essay and see what they think of it. I am wondering what paragraphs in my essay they feel I need to work on. I am sure one of the things that might come up is that I need to expand more on my interpretations of Neufeld. I made sure to be quite descriptive about his essay but my interpretations were short. I think expanding upon these will definitely get my point across to my readers and this will also make my statement of purpose stronger.


I should also explain more about what the emotions some of the characters display to also give a more in depth description of what the characters are going through so that my readers can feel the same as I did when I read the comic. I think that's all for now. I better go, I've got a busy week ahead of me.

Thesis and a Statement of Purpose on "A.D. New Orleans: After the Deluge" by Josh Neufeld

Reading "A.D. New Orleans: After the Deluge", a highly tense graphic comic, I tried to think of the best way to go about my interpretation. I guess one thing is very clear. The conditions in which the people were trapped in the Superdome were utterly unacceptable and our governments actions should be held responsible, however, most of the government officials involved were not.

I will show this first by delving into the interpretation of Neufeld's comic starting with the filth the refugees were made to live in then the crisis of their survival needs and then the violence and deaths that ensued. I will also show the government responses during these troubling days. I am also going to discuss the outsiders point of view that was brought to the comic by the couple in the car and possibly cite media reports relating to this as well. I will do all of this to the accuracy of Neufeld's story and how he touched base on some very real problems with our government.     

Preliminary Observartions of Text: A.D. - New Orleans After the Deluge Assignment 3-1

As I was reading "A.D. - New Orleans After the Deluge" by Josh Neufeld, I found it interesting that the aftermath of Katrina was written in comic form. I would think that this would make an argument like this less powerful. As I continued to read I noticed that the use of profanity was not only used to show realism but also the irritated and heated tempers of the characters and situation. I also noticed that the illustrations used a very disturbing background that was full of dirt and trash, clothes lying all over the ground, and sweaty characters. These details were used to heighten the extreme dilemma's of the aftermath.

Over and over this comic shows the irritations of the characters situations and how they were not receiving any aid from the government. There supply of water was running low, yet they still had cigarettes and booze and other items they looted from surrounding businesses. The only people that would help were gang members that wore Disney shirts with Disney characters on them. It sort of helped to make them appear less dangerous. The continuing notion that the government didn't care or were trying to kill them in careless ways was a ringing tone throughout the comic.

The one anomaly that I found in this comic was a couple driving in Muskogee, Oklahoma. I found it weird that this couple had anything to do with the situation at the Convention Center. I can only think that Neufeld used this as a counterargument to an outsiders point of view like the one the couple over heard on the radio. This allowed Neufeld to blend it in with the couple responding with an explanation an outsider was clearly not thinking of. I did also find it odd that these people could not clean up after themselves. It was almost as if they could not function on there own. I mean your looting for things that you need like food and water, why not some cleaning supplies.

Reflecting and Revising - Assignment 2-5

While reading another students essay I learned something new about the Kalman essay we are interpreting. My classmates essay stated "Kalman used a picture of a pair of shoes to give the reader the feeling of the long journey she took to find the missing piece which we lost in our life, the missing piece of democracy of how to eat healthy." I found this to be interesting because the picture of the shoes and the words under the picture that said, "In my head.", always confused me but my classmates essay shined a new and different point of view.Even though the statement of the shoes that my classmate used was brief and not completely clear, it taught me that I also needed to expand on my interpretations in my essay as well. I would like to thank my classmate for not only opening my eyes to another point of view but also for helping me to learn a little bit more about myself and how I need to expand on my interpretations.

I also got the chance for another classmate to read my essay and analyse my interpretations. I found all of her criticisms to be very constructive. It really was helpful to know everything she thought I could do better.I really think she understood my purpose and helped me to get my purpose to flourish.I liked the compliment she gave me stating, "...he follows with a simple but detailed explanation." and that I was able to do this without a "copious amount of words. I appreciate all the time she took on my essay.

At my conference with my instructor for this essay, I learned that my essay draft was in free writing form. She definitely gave me some good insights on what was expected of the revised essay. Any confusion I may still have will be dependent upon how well I did with my revised essay. I am uncertain as to if my revisions are what she is looking for. I do appreciate her patience and understanding.

I think I need to work on expanding, staying more focused on the topic, and a little citation clean-up. I think if I can work really hard on these three things I should do well.